The Footage - London band: songs, mp3s, lyrics, images, news, blog - News

summer lightning lyrics

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 17:52:51 +0100

SUMMER LIGHTNING

C-G-Am-F
C-G-Am-Dm C-G-Am-F-Dm
C-G-Am-Dm

Aleph to Beth.
Why make it hard when it isn’t hard?
We’re just booze on the Devil’s breath.
We’re just shards of a larger shard.

china & africa meet lyrics

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 17:51:50 +0100

CHINA AND AFRICA MEET
Capo tasto: 4th fret

Aish
Aish-Em-G-D
G-Bm-D-Em-D-A

Above, a cistern’s filling up with rain.
I’m gonna drop in love with you again.

I sing of men
By mistresslessness slain.

monroe lyrics

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 17:10:30 +0100

MONROE
Capo tasto: 2nd fret

Em-Am-D7 C-G
Em-Am-D7 C…
G-D-Am-Em-C
Em-Dm-Am

Norma,
Your boys
Been bad boys
A hundred years before you were born.
Billy
Said Teddy
“treats peace
As…blubberlike…gray twilight.”

It’s Automatic When I Talk With Old Friends…

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 14:43:17 +0000

LONDON (APB)

by WOLF S. JENKINS (You can't keep this wolf from the door…of the newsroom!)
& EMMA BROCKES (If it ain't Brockes, don’t fax it…to the newsroom!)

It looks like the answer to the US and its allies’ difficulties in Iraq can be summarised in just one word: “Do It Again!”

Joy Stein suddenly just "comes out" with epigram, all 9 words below!

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 16:19:54 +0000

"The mosquito of fashion carries the malaria of conformity."
Witnesses said it was almost as if it had been written down on, like, eyelid cuecards or something. "She just came out with it" said one. We asked this witness if she could say the same thing in the present tense for a headline quote. "No problem," she gasped. "She just comes out with it." "Perfect. Do it again for the second edition."

Joy Stein Completes "Dangerously Boring" Limerick, Threatens To Publish

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 16:16:59 +0000

- "What with the spectacular scenery,
the butterflies, birds and the greenery,
Joan, it's been a really-"
- "We must return yearly."
- "Yes, I'd have to agree, Joan, it's been a re-"

Truth is Squeezed, Facts Squirt Everywhere!

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 16:06:43 +0000

Everyone who is not a total log will remember where they were and what colour the toilet paper was when they read the following headline in these pages: “Band Members, Poets, Limerickicists Or Whatever ARRESTED”. It exploded like a man into our mouths on 16th December, 2006. The story, if memory is still a brow-mopping, cap-tipping, oh-yes-massering slave to this writer’s will, ran like this, exactly like this:

Edward Bearnaise fiatluxes samples from last night's Limerick Orgy (Part 2)

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 15:45:02 +0000

What a luncheon! Stick some ice in my ass! When did I leave? Wednesday afternoon? And it’s what now? Friday early evening? What a pricking luncheon! Feast on my boulevard! I’m going to HAVE to take the Footage (and you, dear eyed reader, and you) to Caesar’s Appendix in Bloomsbury. The menu (“Is Sir’s meal finished?” “Finished? I’m only on Page Four!” I actually said that! And the question too, OK, yes, but the lad was scarcely 30 seconds out of Slovenia) set lips smackin’ like it was bathtime at Abu Ghraib – I have no idea if that is offensive, sense-making or neither, and I don’t much care. I don’t read or watch or surf (surf! as a verb?!) our culture’s News baths. I’ve always been a strict Murdochian in such matters – the Chinese know what they’re doing.

Forthcoming Episode of Desert Island Discs Described By Insider As "Chilling" and "Weird"

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 21:40:10 +0000

RADIO 4
PROGRAMME DETAILS
DESERT ISLAND DISCS
7th January 2007 (rpt. 12th January 2007)

Kirsty Young's castaway this New Year is the popular journalist and television presenter Kate Thornton (born February 7, 1973 in Nuremberg). She is best known for ITV’s The X Factor which she has hosted since 2004. Precocious from birth, she became the youngest ever editor of Smash Hits at age 21, though she left after only a year. Her early years in Germany laid the foundation for her success and gave her a confidence performing in front of a crowd and a genuine racial interest in people and their lives. For someone so young and professionally situated in the world of pop music, Kate’s choices might provide a surprise for the listener.

I’m dreaming of a White Christmas…right guys?

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 02:08:39 +0000

Fallon Speer & Alan Glans reveal what was in our Christmas stockings this morning, as they go through this Yuletide’s best-selling gifts and pick the best of the bunch.

Well, it’s certainly been a great Christmas for innovative presents! And this year’s theme can be summed up in just four words: pornography. Most popular have been celebrity sex tapes with fun, festive titles. Hollywood leading man Russell Crowe’s energetic “Crowe’s Nuts Firing On An Open Chest” is proving to be the sales king. Although the reissue of Dolph Lundgren’s lost 80s classic “Rude Dolph The Red-Hose Raped Her” is a welcome blast from the past, if just a little corny (he burns a woman’s breasts off with hot coals and, in a scene reminiscent of Dolph's recent "Dirty Crusades", rapes several Rabbis) – all in all, this is for granddad, rather than that sexy uncle you've had your eye on. For connoisseurs comes “Merry Wristmas” by Bumbadier Productions (the folks behind last year’s war poets pun-porno “Brooke Owened Up To Sassooning Her Rosenbergs” and the racist hit of the summer, “Congo Lacuna”, with its instant catchphrases, "Fuck me with your sexlength!" and "You will calculate my longitude, midshipman...with your ass!" and "Know my boat, saltwhore!").

"364 Shopping Days Till Christmas" by R.X. Leaf

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 17:40:25 +0000

When bedizened Christmas forces entry,
Coughing up gifts and grans of doubtful use,
I shudder and shake my family tree,
Praying for a sudden shower of Jews.

Band Members, Poets, Limerickicists Or Whatever ARRESTED

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 17:33:35 +0000

"A crime of the heart and a cardiac arrest", quipped Brewster Pensen of The Footage to the press as he was dragged into a police van or Pig Wagon or Janet Reno Espace or Fuzz Truck or Panopticon Pantechnicon in the early hours of this morning in Whitehall. Also among those arrested after a limerick-themed party that, it is alleged, spilled into the Cabinet Room of the War Rooms, were poet and hallucinatrix Joy Stein, elegist R.X. Leaf, Susie Grossman, several members of the band Left With Pictures and another apparently innocent, though a shade lycanthropic, man who shouted "I'm Napalm Toast! I'm Napalm Toast! I'm Not Fucking Spartacus! I'm Napalm Toast!" until police decided to arrest him too. Band hubsman Edward Bearnaise has been unavailable for comment.

Edward Bearnaise fiatluxes samples from last night's Limerick Orgy (Part 1)

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 17:29:34 +0000

Yes. It’s me, I’m afraid. Hello. As you’ve heard no doubt, Pensen’s in prison so I’m standing in.
I’m Edward Bearnaise (the band’s hubsman, as Pensen opportunes to describe me) and I’m feculently rich – but please don’t despise me for that. Despise me for this: I quasi-legally avoid all taxes, I subsist on a strict ortolan-only diet and I rape and kill Estonian prostitutes (paying for sex just repels me). But, to the point!

Brewster Pensen is interviewed by The Guardian

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 17:26:37 +0000

The Emma Brockes interview: Brewster Pensen

Q: “Did the Holocaust happen?”
A: “Not at all.”

Emma Brockes
Friday April 1, 2006
The Guardain

Despite his belief that most journalists are “unwitting cupholders at the diarrhoea fountain”, Brewster Pensen, the songwriter’s songwriter, agrees to see me at his office in Croydon. He works here as a clerk, a sort of Clark (Clerk?) Kent alter ego to his musical-lyrical Superman, in a worn leather jacket with pockets. There is a half-finished packet of tobacco on the desk. Such is the effect of an hour spent with Pensen that, writing this, I wonder: is it wrong to mention the fig rolls when there is undocumented suffering going on in El Salvador?

Upstairs, Trousers Down...with Eric Cartoon (Part 3)

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 01:47:22 +0000

Reginald was urged to consider the exquisite horizon.

!"£$%^&*()

This was paradise-by-numbers.

If it weren't all a posthumous gratuity, thought Reginald, I'd complain.